Bright Lights, Big City

You’ve never really been the best student, or the best at anything for that matter; other than drifting like a leaf in the wind. It’s not like you haven’t tried, it’s just that things never seem to work out for you, so you’ve decided it’s best not to try at all, as the result of your actions seems to always be the same old pattern no matter what you try. But it isn’t your fault, it couldn’t be considering the hand you were dealt. A diagnosis of Obsessive - Compulsive disorder and an innate need to impress people coupled with clinical depression and social anxiety keeps you unable to strive for what you want, and not being satisfied with what you have. Not to mention your childhood which should be a whole new disorder all together; who knew two people with chronic personality disorders paired with years of opium abuse didn’t mix? Regardless you just keep trudging through life, never looking forward but not letting yourself be stuck in the past either, forever drifting along your own stream of consciousness.

Anyways, back to the matter of school. It’s 7am now and you have exams at 9am and 1:10pm respectively, both of which make up a large portion of your semester grade, and neither of which you have prepared for in the slightest. You were always told that school is the most important years of your life and that how hard you try in school will determine your path in life. But what about personal development? You’ve not even been alive for two decades yet and you already see the deconstruction of students under the pressures of school; everyone enters with their own personality and dreams, yet they all leave the same shapeless mass with “plans” where their dreams once stood. Nevertheless, you feel an ever growing sting in the back of your throat, not necessarily about the exams but about your choices in general. What if by fighting the typical structure of society you’re alienating yourself before you even had the chance to succeed? Either way none of that matters now, you’re legs are already carrying you out the door and down the stairs, to your first exam.